- Available for Mentoring
Welcome to my mentor page. Thanks for dropping by to say hi.
I’m delighted to be contributing, through my role as a mentor, to this very lively and creative stage in the evolution of the Trillium Awakening (TA) community.
As I look around this website, and get TA updates via email, and mix with my mutuality friends and colleagues, I see so many exciting initiatives coming through under the TA banner. As an organisation and organism, we are actively, each and all, discovering the forms and expressions of this new ‘whole-being’ paradigm of human development.
And I’m excited that YOU too are interested in engaging our support, in participating in your own way, contributing your unique perspective to this mutually created emergence of whole-being awakened life.
It would be my great honour were you to ask me to walk beside you on the path of your awakening. Let’s clear a space to see you and hear you—as you are, and are becoming. The you that’s here and that’s coming through. Let’s allow this field of awakened transmission to work its magic.
May I share a few snippets about my own journey?
I’ve been engaged with whole-being awakening work, through Waking Down in Mutuality and then Trillium Awakening, since the middle of 2011. It’s been as wonderful time, bringing me safely to other shore—the end of seeking.
How did I come to get involved here in the first place? You could say, in truth, it was a whole lifetime (or many many more than one) that led here. Little by little, through twists and turns, and step by step, groping my way forward, my path was somehow magnetized by a future I couldn’t quite make out until it had arrived.
Right from the beginning, I found myself drawn to the messy edges and paradoxes of life, which kept showing up for me in vivid ways. And I was always attracted to those moments and situations where the veil of everyday separateness was pierced. Whether it was through imagination, wonderings, conversations, psychedelic adventures, literature, or esoteric philosophy, I found myself returning again and again to the dizzy precipice of a yet-to-be-known immensity.
That winding path took me through many years of quirky academic work in the interdisciplinary field between literary studies, psychology and philosophy, where I followed my hunches and intuitions. In those days, I found a way, using words, to push rationality to the limit, until it shattered, and it’s shattering was into stars and light.
And then, one day, that stream ran dry. I wanted a way to go deeper, and words and wordy magic tricks were no longer it. How could I live this essential paradox of life that had been my intellectual plaything for the last twenty years?
After attending a couple of 10-day silent retreats, a door opened in a new direction, beckoning me through. Without even being able to make sense of the experiences I’d had in meditation, I knew that this was the next thing for me.
So, in midlife, I was ripe for renunciation.
I burnt my photos in a fireplace at a friend’s place. The past felt barren at that time. I was repelled by it. I wanted to know the truth. Only that. And everything in the world seemed not that. I found an inspiring teacher at a monastery in the Thai Forest tradition on the remote west coast of Australia, and I went there to live—fully planning to stay till the end of my days…
As it turned out, I was not there till death. It was five years. And therein lies a tale, a dive into the deep.
At the end of those years, on one plane, I was living as the Witness, and bathed in unconditional love, on another level, I was completely broken, like a bird thunked against a car windscreen. My body was desperately thin and close to death. From the incubator of my solitary hut in the woods, one day I found myself, still wearing my Thai Theravadan robes, in a psychiatric unit.
And so I went through another door. And I came back to being with others. Slowly. Through many small and often painful steps.
And one of them, a few years on, a crucial one, led to this wonderful work and community—Trillium Awakening.
So, after who knows how many eons, now I’m here—as me, as we, as All—and it just seems obvious that this is where I was always headed.
What are T. S Eliot’s words?
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
These days I live in the western suburbs of Melbourne, in Australia, with my partner. I work as a clinician at a residential drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility. I also teach in an undergraduate program that trains psychotherapists and arts therapists, as well as running my private practice as a therapist.
As I look back today, its remarkable actually to see how this very full and satisfying time in my life is an ever unfolding expression of the wholeness that I realized once and for all on a day in May, 2013.
I would love for you to enjoy this conscious embodied nondual awakened wholeness too. It’s already who you are, in truth, just waiting to come through.
Thanks for taking the time to drop in.
Whether we come to spend time together or not, I wish you well!