Newsletter - October 2017 - Issue #10
Where Are We Now With Mutuality? 
Edited transcription of a presentation by Fax Gilbert followed by a discussion of Trillium Teachers at our Teacher Retreat, June 14, 2017
 
Fax: In light of the events leading up to and surrounding the grievance process a few years ago, I began to wonder whether a) my understanding of mutuality was very incomplete, or b) mutuality itself has limits in its scope and its range that I wasn't aware of.  I thought that, either way, it would be good to come up to speed with all of you together to see where we are on this important subject.  It's an important subject because it's fundamental to our identity.  What distinguishes this work more than anything else is our leadership in this field, and with the split that took place, it's crucial that we see if we can harvest a better understanding of what mutuality is, what it isn't, and it's limitations.
It's always been difficult for me to define mutuality.  Mutuality is a mystery, really, and just like awakening and embodiment, mutuality is hard to define.  It's more of a structure to allow a kind of magic to happen between people.    

What we can define is the structure, what has to be there for this magic to happen, for this coming together to happen. In the area of awakening we look at it in terms of what it isn't:  consciousness is not this, not that.  And eventually consciousness itself becomes a Knowing, the not knowing of a, b, c, d-facts, figures, identities, and so on. That not knowing transforms into an awareness that is itself a Knowing. And the same thing happens with embodiment.  The not knowing of who we are as a person, and all the different parts. And in just being in that space, holding that space, things reveal themselves, as if magically.  And we begin to integrate, or at least see, or relate to all the different parts of who we are as a person. In mutuality we're also creating a framework so that something more than the sum of the parts can take place when there's a relationship.  Mutuality is a mutual awakening-a coming together of individuals to create something that's different, more, a greater wholeness.

I've found that there are 4 parameters for the possibility of this to happen.

The first is 
respect.  Respect means that even if there is something in the other person that you don't agree with, or is not in sync, within your awareness there's still the whole person.  In other words, there's the part there that you don't like, and there's the wholeness of the person.  You respect the totality of the person even though you're not in harmony with the part.  To me that's what respect is.  It's also a kind of fundamental trust.  And if you don't have that, then there's no magic.

The second parameter is something that Krishna brought up a couple years ago, and that is: 
we only know partial truths. Having the awareness front and center that even our perspective, and what we know, is only partially true. Here is the quote that Krishna gave us:

"Every opinion and account that I hear from someone or about someone is probably at least partially misunderstood by me. By partial I don't mean that it's just part of ultimate reality, I mean that even when I understand it, it's only a partial piece of their reality and not an account of their whole ever-changing experience."

To me, that's meeting with a certain amount of vulnerability, that whatever your point of reference, it isn't the totality of the situation. And I realize in saying this that, OK, we can nod and agree with it now, but when you're in the trenches, that little piece that you don't agree with becomes the totality. And it's only with the passage of time, perhaps, just settling in and feeling into it over days, weeks, months and years that the totality of whatever we were involved with becomes clearer.

So, meet with respect, that's the first thing; the second thing is that I only know part of the truth, even when I think it's totally right.

The third parameter is: 
put yourself in the other person's shoes. And that's probably the most difficult thing of all.  Just to feel, empathize where they're coming from, or at least be open to hear where they're coming from without immediately translating it into "that's not right."  Listen and feel.

And the fourth parameter I feel has to be there for mutuality to happen-- the meeting to happen, the transcendence to happen, the integration to happen-the fourth parameter is 
self-knowledge.  You have to have a certain amount of self-knowledge, as does the other. To at least be aware when you're triggered.  To at least be aware that, OK, this is reactive, that this is not the best time to engage.  "Know when to hold 'em; know when to fold 'em" so to speak. And so I think that a certain amount of self-knowledge has to be there, because if you're functioning from just reactivity, then-no magic-the magic of mutuality does not happen.

I'm beginning to look at mutuality as more of a process than as a product.  In other words, who's right, who isn't, or whatever comes out of it in the form of some sort of coming together perhaps, or not, is less important than how we go about it, what we're left with in terms of the connectivity we have with the other person or the relationship.

Again, I'm beginning to see mutuality as an awakening within itself.  It's not a personal awakening, or a personal embodiment, but it's an awakening that can happen many times in many different ways. As we meet in truth, and as we meet with these parameters in place, then some deeper connectivity--just as we're establishing between ourselves here--gets connected.

I also feel that there are two kinds of mutuality: personal and impersonal.  We've primarily been engaged with the personal.  But there's also impersonal mutuality, which some other groups are also exploring, creating mutuality within the space that we create together as a wholeness and what we contribute to that as individuals.  

Mutuality is so important to this work.  It is foundational to our teaching.  This is how people awaken!  They awaken to their conscious nature because of the mutuality of the group, their teachers, the sittings, the small groups-all of that is kind of a mutuality of manners, a protocol in which we create the space for someone to feel safe enough to own who they are as consciousness, to own who they are as a person, to own who they are in relationship.

And so this whole aspect of holding and reflecting is mutuality.  It's fundamental to our work.  It's not just one of the three petals of Trillium Awakening; it's the petal of Trillium path that provides the juice for the awakening and embodiment to happen. And so to me, it's crucial to feel into where we are with it together. 



Trillium Awakening is a unique offering to the world, with 44 teachers, 16 mentors, workshops/retreats and sittings, community and online mutuality groups, and a shared manifesto and mission for catalyzing awakening for individuals, society, and the world.
Upcoming Events
Olympia, Oct 21, 2017 
Coming Home to Ourselves
6-9 pm
with Margit Bantowsky and Marla Durden

Our hearts are calling us home; and awakening can be catalyzed in the crucible of story. In this event we will use a potent storytelling modality to help participants explore the theme of home in the context of whole being awakening. 

Olympia, Nov 4-5, 2017
Dance in your Golden Shadow 
with Margit Bantowski and Joanne Lee

Our gifts are part of our wholeness! In this workshop participants will welcome home orphaned/hidden aspects of their unique goodness and brilliance using creative processes including art, movement, and writing in this weekend workshop. No previous art experience needed! 

Trillium Awakening We Space
Purchase on Amazon

From the book 
Cohering the Integral We Spacepublished in October 2016, 
we are happy to share: 

Trillium Awakening
An article by Sandra Glickman, M.A., Deborah Boyar Ph.D.

This article was prepared to convey the Trillium Awakening work to those familiar with current "We Space" practices. This article also offers an excellent overview of how our dharma holds and anchors our specific total work. 

Past Event Photos
click photo for larger version
Fairfield Retreat 2017
Advanced Mutuality Skills 2017
East Coast Deep Dive 2017
Thailand 2017
CLAIM and Community Network
 
 
A number of years ago the Community Network (CN) was established to voice community needs and express awakened, second-life culture. Greg Aurand's non-profit organization, CLAIM (Communities Living and Inspiring Mutuality) held congruent goals. However, the separation between Saniel and Linda and the Teachers Circle has made it difficult for them to provide a comprehensive umbrella under which to support a thriving, cohesive, awakening community.

In light of these realities they have decided to dissolve both the non-profit organization, CLAIM, as well as the CN.

Eric Grace, Margit Bantowsky, Richard Shapiro, Greg Aurand wish to thank you for your past support of their efforts.
Circles of Engagement Update

For several years now, Trillium Awakening's hoped-for adaptation of this very successful structure for organizing ever-expanding numbers of members, dedicated practitioners, and contributors has been percolating mainly inside Krishna Gauci's creative Being. Now, "expression" outward is under way!

Several teachers are working with Krishna in the detailing and editing required to carefully articulate and secure the necessary documents to set this plan in motion. The discriminating work of drafting the basic Agreements for membership at various levels is arriving at the point of readiness. The first half of November is our target to launch the more specific communication and invitation to all levels of our community. We're looking forward to a progressive implementation over the next months.
Send comments or suggestions for future issues to: fax@lisco.com
Editor-in-Chief: Fax Gilbert
Assistant Editor: Sharon Gilbert
Newsletter Design/Creative Consulting: Tatini Goler
Trillium Awakening Teachers Circle, 1307 South Main Street  , Fairfield, IA 52556
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